Five mistakes Friends w/Benefits make!

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Embarking on a casual dating, no-strings attached type relationship is serious business even though its supposed to be light and fun. I would say at least 90% of these types of relationships end in both the man and woman feeling a certain type of way about each other simply because they were not prepared for this type of relationship or one of them weren’t being honest and upfront in the beginning.

When getting into a no strings attached relationship, some ground rules need to be set from the beginning and both the man and woman should have a very clear understanding of what the friendship is it and what it isn’t, what can happen and what can’t, and last being honest with each other about what they are really looking for. Like don’t get into this type of relationship and two weeks down the line look for him to make you his girlfriend or her your boyfriend. If he/she can get it all by not giving you any kind of a commitment, honey he/she will take it and won’t be looking for change anytime soon.

Below are the Top Five mistakes we make in a FWB relationship.

1) Becoming a FWB with your co-worker or neighbor

So this is a no no because this means you are constantly around this person so anytime they flirt or go on a lunch date with someone at work, you will start to feel a certain type of way and find yourself being a bit stalker-ish lol. And if its your neighbor its even worst because you get to see who else he or she is boning at night..lol

2) Having Expectations! Only expect to he his or her lay, and occasional date.

Really…Don’t bother or you will be disappointed each time. Yes you two may have lots in common, loads of fun, or maybe some great connection when you two are together. But don’t read into that or try to analyze it. You will get your feelings hurt in the end because that other person may not share the same connection that you feel you two have.

3) Accepting a FWB relationship when you know you want more!

This not fair. Not for you and not for your FWB. If you know you want a committed relationship, don’t even bother to get into this type of friendship. You will give yourself a lot of sleepless nights like this and find yourself having a attitude with your FWB when you put yourself in that position from the start. If someone says I just want friends, “listen” don’t feel you can change them or it may eventually lead to something else. Even If it can, just get that understanding upfront.

4) Getting too Personal!

Spending a night, should be out. Get it in and leave or put them out. No holding and bonding, it creates feelings for one of the two which is where the expectations start. Go on a date or two, have fun, and light conversations. Do not talk about your home or work life, they don’t need to know.

5) Not protecting yourself!

You will have no idea of whom else your FWB is sleeping with despite them telling you there is no one else. STD’s and Pregnancy can happen on those long drunken or emotional nights and early mornings. It can also create more intimate feelings. I feel when we allow someone into our bodies raw or have oral sex, we are allowing their spirit into our own and since your relationship is not that kind of party, you should definitely stay away from it.

Well ladies and gents that’s my five tips on saving yourself in a FWB relationship. I personally feel it’s the worst idea ever thought of and just like social media, it gives us more of a disconnect as a people and does not hold us accountable for creating, having, or keeping good healthy relationships.

Signing Off, 

Empress Hadiya…

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