As I was driving to work this morning, I was thinking of a current situation that I am going through with a friend. This friend for the most part is a good person, however I have experienced some days where she has treated me a certain type of way because she was not feeling happy that day or was upset with me for something she feels I had or had not done. And at this point, since it has happened on more than one occasion, I felt it was best for me to let that friendship go because while I understand everyone has their days, I also know that I was not the cause of her issues; so to treat me a certain type of way anytime she feels upset is just not acceptable. I am one who believes that even when one is having a down day, its easy to say, ” hey I’m not feeling well today, I don’t want to talk right now” I will not take that to heart. I will attempt to help, but if not I will give the time and space they may need to feel better. Anyway this situation also made me question myself as to why I gave up on her so easily and I wondered did it have anything to do with a Fear of Rejection.
Its said that the Fear of Rejection can affect one’s life on so many levels, in personal, social, and professional situations. It can also bring so many other issues into ones life-like “Pride” and we all know that pride is a blessing but more of a curse. It causes us to never be open with what we are feeling or going through; Moreover it causes us not to ask for help when it’s truly needed. Because we are in fear of someone seeing our weaknesses or vulnerabilities. Like not wanting to be seen as weak or needy. I can say honestly that, that is the story of my life.
From a very young age I first experienced what I felt was rejection from my mother and father due to them not being the parents that they could have been. Now of course at my age and understanding, I know that they were young and may not have understood the seriousness of raising children. But I realize now that, that was when my fear for rejection came into play. So throughout out my life I learned to cope with it by getting rid of the friend, job, or relationship before they rid themselves of me. Sadly most of the time, it was not the case on their end, but my fear of rejection caused me to run because maybe I could not handle being rejected. Even on the professional level, I knew that I could do and go after certain things and projects and more than likely would have been successful at it, but I chose not to pursue again due to being in fear of being rejected or not doing well.
In closing, at my tender matured age now.. those feeling are still very much alive at times; However, I have learned that everyone experiences rejection in some form or another. Rejection now only makes me stronger and more eager to win. I understand that communication is key with anything or anybody. while I may feel one is rejecting me, it may not be the case, I just need to get clarity. On the professional level I still second guess myself at times, but I no longer hold back, because its better to try and fail than to fail for not trying at all right.. I will be the first to say, having a fear for rejection is a sad feeling, it can block you from lots of great experiences in life. Its constant work on your part to heal and imperative to get help if needed. But my advise to anyone one struggling with this is to learn to love yourself and jump out into life and live…Whats the worst that can happen.