Me versus Me!

I’m sure we have all have heard the term “Get out of your own Way”. Well, I know that term all too well.  I feel a lot of my challenges and struggles in life is due to me standing in my own way. Whether it’s in love, growing spiritually, my career, furthering my education, or personal goals I want to pursue.  I find that I can be my best cheerleader but also my own downfall.

Comparing; That’s one of my first mistakes I constantly make. I look at all of my friends and co-workers and what they have going on in life and feel I’m not up to par, not realizing most of the things I see them doing, I actually don’t care to do; or If I did, I could if I just get up and be more active in my life. And really most of them are posting the greatest moments of their lives on social media instead of actually enjoying those moments as I would. I have to come to realize that everyone and everything has its own divine time and moments for things to change, grow, or evolve and I need not worry about things that are not in my control. All is in God’s timing.

Holding onto my past; Maybe I should have started with that. That’s my single most downfall, not letting go, it’s sometimes a challenge to be hopeful as to what’s coming or what will be. Being a very young mom and having to raise kids, learn, and mature all at the same time put me in a certain mind state and that was only being focused on my children as I was all they had. Now that all three of my children are over 18 and taking care of themselves; I still have the mindset that I can’t live life yet because I have three children to take of lol. God help me…I’m changing though. I actually see it every day. I’m starting to become more independent. I’m so used to thinking about everyone except me, that I don’t know how to act that I only have me to worry about. So these days I’m wanting to get a puppy, see something else to take care of instead of me. Why? Why do I avoid me? I like me..lol

Overthinking. Eek, eek, eek. Why must my mind run the way it does? I am a thinker, dreamer and over analyzer. The over-thinking has made me sabotage so many good things in my life, some I have even lost. Over-thinking makes me take everything so personal or trying to dig deep for everything instead of trusting what’s on the surface. Some things are what they are. Again I have to focus on the controllable’s and leave in God’s hands what’s not.

Luckily with age comes wisdom and growth. I can say now I know completely who I am and what I want and need in my life. I also realize the things I need to do to live my life happily and that’s by getting out of my own way, trusting in God’s path and purpose for my life, following my heart, and just being the best me possible each day I open my eyes.

you-are-confined-11tjp88

 

Signing off,

Empress…….

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