Looking for Change…….

Hey friends, hope all is well with everyone. I know it has been quite some time since I have posted a blog, I have even lost quite a few followers due to my inconsistency. The truth is friends, I really don’t know what I want to do with this blog site. I go back and forward on if I want to create new and different content and revamp the blog, or if I want to let it go all together and focus on some of my other goals. And the reasoning for that is life is really changing for me right now, mostly in good ways, but of course with the good, always comes the bad. Not bad in harsh ways but bad as in having to accept and make changes in certain parts of my life and in my relationships. So bad as in growing pains I guess I could say.

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Just a couple of months ago, I woke up one morning and realized I was nearing 40 years old and I was not happy at all. Yes I have the things that I need in life and some that  I want, but I still wanted and still want different. I want to experience real and genuine happiness, freedom, love, and joy. Not the forced kind, or the kind where you convince yourself that you are happy to put up a front for others and especially social media or even to make your loved ones feel more comfortable. So wanting to experience this type of reality moving forward meant making some big changes in my life in all areas be it my relationships, career, education, health, and most importantly my mental health. The biggest challenge so far has been creating boundaries within my relationships because when I started to change, some people around me weren’t ready for me to change, that’s partly because I have always been the type of person that takes care of everything and everyone but myself. Truth be told I looked to fix everyone else and everything else, because I did not want to deal with myself.  I didn’t know where to begin. I did not know who I was, what I really wanted in life, and definitely what my purpose was in this life. So day by day and little by little I started to take a deep look at my life and what I wanted for it. I had to admit some hard truths within myself and accept some things in my life that I absolutely could not change, that started me om my freedom path. I am one who is very cautious and protective, in other words, I like control, lol…but then I realized I had to let go, and let God. I also had to learn to trust the process of letting go. Freeing myself from an over-thinking mind and from the stress it created, I have been able to feel happier and have more genuine experiences. Friends it’s all about getting out of your own way and taking responsibility for your own life, experiences, and happiness. The rest will take care of itself honestly, we just have to open up and let it happen. I am very near turning 40, but with the positive steps I have taken and is still working on, I am confident  that I will be stepping into the big 40 gracefully and happy….Till next time..

Empress….

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Gratitude’ The Best Attitude!

gratitude-thank-you-quoteThe dictionary defines gratitude as feeling grateful or thankful and having the readiness to show appreciation in return. Well I can honestly say that “gratitude” was one quality that I fell short of majority of my adult life. I would always find myself always wanting more, wanting to do more, and wanting to be more. That of course would led to bad and impulsive decision-making. And dealing with tough consequences.

I once read a quote that read ” It doesn’t matter whether your glass is half empty or half full, just be thankful that you have a glass with something in it”. And for a lot of us that is a hard pill to swallow. I understand. We feel as if we wake up everyday and go out into the world, work hard, be nice and polite, keep a structured life, and so on that we deserve whatever our heart desires. Forgetting that there is a divine plan for all of our lives. All of us are not meant to be rich and live in a big house and drive fancy cars, some of us are meant to live in a small house and drive a Chevy and be rich at heart. And Some of ou will reach those riches one day, but in our divine time.

At the last part of 2013, I decided to move to Brooklyn, New York. I quit my job, gave everything that I had worked so hard for away, and left my comfortable home in search of a better life or seeking more happiness. Instead; in a matter of 7 months, I ran through my savings, never got a quality job, lived in a small apt with bedbugs paying $1650 a month and could barely keep up. By the Summer of 2014 I came running back to Atlanta with my tail between my legs feeling like a failure and ashamed because here was a 36-year-old woman starting over like she had just left her mom’s house for the first time to start life. The whole time I was in Brooklyn I could not help but to see what I did and the mistakes that I had made. I realized that the terrible life that I thought I had, was not bad at all. It was great in fact. But all those feelings of being incomplete came from not having gratitude and not appreciating what God had given me and especially not having a relationship with God. I remember one night crying and asking God if he would give me the opportunity to go back home and get thing right, I would forever be grateful. And guess what. Because of his mercy, he granted me that blessing. And I am much more thankful for life today. I have more than I had before and I actually appreciate whatever I get now because now I know it could always be worst and everything happens not in my time but in God time.

I say all this to say. I know you may not know poverty or struggles like others, but not being grateful for what you have and having greed for more sure can get you to that place. Understand that being rich and having more is all in your head, heart, and spirit. Only God and you can create your happiness. Cars, Clothes, Homes, and Cars can’t. It’s within you. And having “Gratitude” for what you have in this present moment is a great start to happiness and riches.

Signing Off,

Empress.

 

 

Great Summer Read!!!

Great Summer Read!!!

Are you like me? finding yourself at a crossroad in life, where you feel as if you have been just existing rather than living and enjoying life? If you answered yes then I’m not alone..lol..

On my journey to re-invent my self and make me happier instead of all the people around me. I found this great book called, The Happiness Project, written by Gretchen Rubin.

In this book Gretchen has an epiphany one rainy afternoon where she realizes “Time is passing, and I’m not focusing enough on the things that really matter”… And in that moment she decided to dedicate a year of her life to her happiness project.

I really love this book, it helped me a great deal on my journey. I hope it can help someone else…