Anyone due for a Vision Board?

So most of us have settled very well into 2016, accomplishing our goals and sticking to our New Year’s resolutions; but if you’re inconsistent like me, you may have slacked off. Now for 2016, I decided not make any new resolutions because I knew my life was moving in a different direction. I ended a relationship, got a promotion at work, bought a new car, and most of all I started to make myself a priority rather than everyone and everything else. So clearly I knew my life was changing. I did plan on setting goals for myself along the way, but somewhere in that process, I felt overwhelmed and found myself in a rut and couldn’t find my way out. I even visited my doctor because I felt so tired and burned out. I never realized that when your mind is tired, it can really make your body very tired and fatigued.

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Anyway; after some soul searching and allowing myself to sit in that rut to identify what was going on with myself, I was able to regroup and get myself together. Which brings me to the subject at hand..VISION BOARD…. I remember some time ago I created a vision board and it really helped me to stay focused on my goals and was a great reminder that there was still work to be done anytime I felt like slacking. So although we are well into 2016, I still decided to create a vision board to have a visual of my long-term goals and to create the baby steps along the way. Therefore, I will be able to finish off the year with a bang and have a clear vision of what I want and need to accomplish in 2017, God willing.

So friends if you’re feeling a little out of place or unclear as to what you want to do with your life. A vision board is an awesome tool to help you realize your goals and make plans for your future. It’s never too late and it’s a fun activity. I’m even thinking of throwing vision board parties..It’s nothing like cupcakes, margaritas, and great friends sharing their vision…

 

Till Next Time,

Empress

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So he’s your Romeo, But you’re not his Juliet…What’s a girl to Do?

I don’t think there isn’t one woman on this planet that does not dream of having a once in a lifetime astounding love. We all want a lover that will love, honor, cherish, respect, and sweep us off of our feet. To experience that type of love to me is a one in a lifetime opportunity. I was once loved that way by someone but unfortunately at that time I didn’t even love myself so I did not know how to accept his love let alone love him properly in return.

So moving forward a couple of years later, I found a new great guy. I seen so much potential in him. I think I planned our lives in my head within the first month of knowing him (of course not letting him know). So in the beginning, all was well and good, but after some time things started to fall off. If I didn’t send a text to say hi, he would not say anything, if he would respond to my text at all. When we would speak, he never bothered to ask of my well-being. It started to seem as if I was the one he would call when he had nothing else to do. Of course when I would question it, the answer would always be sorry I was busy or had this and that to do. But at my age I definitely know that no matter how busy one is, If they want to see me, they will create time. So I started going through this stage of realizing what this situation really was; but was still making excuses for why this love was not panning out how I imagined. I mean I was like “I’m a beautiful, well-rounded, and exceptional woman so it isn’t me lol”..maybe he just has troubling trusting women..I will just give a little more love..and he will come around. Well that led to my feelings being hurt even more. Not once did I ever stop to think that he just was not into me. I was not the apple in his eye and I needed to move on. It literally took for him to disrespect me before I realized that this guy did not have a lick of care for me.

Why do we women do that? When we care for someone and can clearly see that their feelings aren’t mutual, we wait and wait hoping they will come around, make excuses for what is wrong, or worry about how we can make things better.

How about looking it other possibilities like we just may be to amazing for him where he is to intimidated to love us….But really sometimes it’s not that we all aren’t beautiful and great in our own little ways, however every love interest is just not meant to be. Ever heard “A person will be in your life for a Reason, Season, or a Lifetime” Yep it’s true. So if you find yourself dealing with this type situation. Just let it go…You can’t make anyone love you, they have to want too. Always look at their actions over their words, actions don’t lie. And lastly if they show you they don’t want you, believe them move on, it’s not make-believe. It hurt a little or a lot. They will be on your mind constantly, but try to stay focused on yourself and what you know you deserve. And in time you will be brand new again…

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Hope you enjoyed the post…don’t be shy, feel free to comment..Thanks for reading..

Signing Off,

Empress….

“Don’t give it All away on the First Date!”

Often times we may meet a woman or men that we have great chemistry with and as a result of that connection, we tend to give away everything too fast. By everything I mean, Sex on the first date, He or She  knowing our life stories within the first couple of hours of talking to us, and if we have kids, introducing these people to our kids not knowing who this person will be to us. Not knowing if this person is in our lives for a Reason, Season, or Lifetime.  We honestly don’t think like that, we start thinking with our expectations or lustful thoughts; then we are confused as to what happened when our relationship ends so fast or even why we have become that man or woman’s bed lay.

It’s because we are “Giving Too Much Too Fast” slow down…Yes all of us want to be loved or in love and that is a wonderful thing but in this day and time people don’t love they way that they used too. Folks intentions aren’t always genuine towards us and although we always want to see the good in whom we are interested in, we have to try to hold some of those emotions back to see what the person is really there for.

Do

  1. Do that old-fashioned dating thing. Hang out (And not at each other’s homes) 
  2. Keep your conversations light and fun, laugh. Change the subject if things start to get to deep. (Your personal business is none of theirs yet)
  3. Ask questions about that person, don’t let them bombard you with questions only about you. (Some look for vulnerabilities when asking you lots of questions)

Do wait before letting yourself go. It is essential in getting to know someone. Besides when you do too much too fast your relationship develops fast, which means it will get old and boring quickly. Believe me, I know, I have done it more than once. And really when you take your time to get to know someone,you save yourself from having regrets. You reserve your body and your heart for that special someone. Take your time. Us men and women are not leaving this planet anytime soon….

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Signing Off,

Empress

 

Five mistakes Friends w/Benefits make!

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Embarking on a casual dating, no-strings attached type relationship is serious business even though its supposed to be light and fun. I would say at least 90% of these types of relationships end in both the man and woman feeling a certain type of way about each other simply because they were not prepared for this type of relationship or one of them weren’t being honest and upfront in the beginning.

When getting into a no strings attached relationship, some ground rules need to be set from the beginning and both the man and woman should have a very clear understanding of what the friendship is it and what it isn’t, what can happen and what can’t, and last being honest with each other about what they are really looking for. Like don’t get into this type of relationship and two weeks down the line look for him to make you his girlfriend or her your boyfriend. If he/she can get it all by not giving you any kind of a commitment, honey he/she will take it and won’t be looking for change anytime soon.

Below are the Top Five mistakes we make in a FWB relationship.

1) Becoming a FWB with your co-worker or neighbor

So this is a no no because this means you are constantly around this person so anytime they flirt or go on a lunch date with someone at work, you will start to feel a certain type of way and find yourself being a bit stalker-ish lol. And if its your neighbor its even worst because you get to see who else he or she is boning at night..lol

2) Having Expectations! Only expect to he his or her lay, and occasional date.

Really…Don’t bother or you will be disappointed each time. Yes you two may have lots in common, loads of fun, or maybe some great connection when you two are together. But don’t read into that or try to analyze it. You will get your feelings hurt in the end because that other person may not share the same connection that you feel you two have.

3) Accepting a FWB relationship when you know you want more!

This not fair. Not for you and not for your FWB. If you know you want a committed relationship, don’t even bother to get into this type of friendship. You will give yourself a lot of sleepless nights like this and find yourself having a attitude with your FWB when you put yourself in that position from the start. If someone says I just want friends, “listen” don’t feel you can change them or it may eventually lead to something else. Even If it can, just get that understanding upfront.

4) Getting too Personal!

Spending a night, should be out. Get it in and leave or put them out. No holding and bonding, it creates feelings for one of the two which is where the expectations start. Go on a date or two, have fun, and light conversations. Do not talk about your home or work life, they don’t need to know.

5) Not protecting yourself!

You will have no idea of whom else your FWB is sleeping with despite them telling you there is no one else. STD’s and Pregnancy can happen on those long drunken or emotional nights and early mornings. It can also create more intimate feelings. I feel when we allow someone into our bodies raw or have oral sex, we are allowing their spirit into our own and since your relationship is not that kind of party, you should definitely stay away from it.

Well ladies and gents that’s my five tips on saving yourself in a FWB relationship. I personally feel it’s the worst idea ever thought of and just like social media, it gives us more of a disconnect as a people and does not hold us accountable for creating, having, or keeping good healthy relationships.

Signing Off, 

Empress Hadiya…